Asgore's Diary
by Arctic Cypress
Summary: What happened after Toriel left the Underground's castle ? What kind of trials Asgore had to face all alone ? Luckily, he wrote everything in a diary he left in his room, waiting to be read by those who want to know the long forgotten truth. This story is linked to "The King's Pain".
1. Chapter 1

_It's been a week since Tori's departure… One. Whole. Week. It seems I would never see her again.  
_ _Everything turned into a living hell since Chara and Asriel's deaths: my whole world is turning all grey,there was no place for happiness in my castle…  
_

 _All of that because of the humans. My people has suffered because of them : first they took our freedom, and now they took my son…  
_ _How dare they have such disrespect for monsters by killing them at sight ? Why do they hate us so much ? I don't know, and honestly,  
_ _I don't care anymore… No matter their reasons, it doesn't justify Asriel's murder !  
_ _I never felt so angry and so hateful against the humans…  
_ _I swear I will never forgive them, they would pay for declaring war without proper reason !  
_ _They would pay for sealing my people into this jail for centuries !  
_ _THEY WOULD PAY FOR KILLING MY SON ! Asriel was innocent, his SOUL was purified by kindness, he didn't deserve such a cruel fate…  
_ _Is it so difficult for Tori to understand ?! Does that mean she isn't feeling hatred towards those who killed our son ?  
_ _I don't think I would be able to understand… Now, I only have Gaster and Gerson to help me breaking that cursed barrier.  
_ _Until that fateful day, Humanity should repent while they still can…_

Once I gather seven SOULS to break this magic, I'll make sure they would disappear from this world...


	2. Chapter 2

_I cannot recognize New Home anymore: everything turned grey. I'm afraid HOPE is disappearing from the monsters's SOULS. I must do something before it's too late… Gaster told me he saw a human by looking from his hidden cameras. They were heading towards Snowdin, meaning they left the RUINS…_

 _But Gaster told me something else, the human… is a child. Well, not an adult, that's for sure, but still very young._

 _To be honest, I was starting to doubt. Should I kill this human ? Should I let them be ? What if they aren't dangerous…?_

 _…No, I should not let my kindness get the best of me, they didn't show any mercy to my son… Just because he was a monster, they…_

 _One day Gerson came to see me, he said he wanted to give me some company. He wasn't lying but, I saw worry in his eyes, he knew about the human._

 _"Do not let vengeance cloud your thoughts Asgore. Believe me, you won't gain anything besides regret…" he said…_

 _I know this isn't right… But what am I supposed to do then ? Remove my sworn to the entire Underground and take the risk to lose everyone's HOPE ?_

 _Gerson doesn't understand, I'm afraid anyone could be able to, even Toriel failed… I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for my people… Their survival is what matters most to me, I must do everything in my power to save them, even if that means I have to kill every human, child or not, who falls in the Underground._

 _But I must be cautious, humans should not be underestimated. They may kill some monsters on their journey, I'm aware of that… The journey through the Underground is a test, and I will be the judge… Their sins won't be hidden from us._

 _But neither they killed or not, they are still guilty for the murder of my son… And when they come to me, I will begin what I intend to finish…_

 _For you… My beloved, innocent children…_


	3. Chapter 3

_It has begun…The collecting of the SOULS has begun… This morning, the human came to see me while I was watering the flowers.  
When I saw them, a wave of fury carried me away from my meditation. Instantly, I remembered of the traitors who sealed us,  
of the murderers of my son, of the responsible of my life being a tragedy. All of that came from that child, a human, but still a child…_

 _They asked me if I was the King of the Monsters and I answered yes by nodding. Then, they said something strange :  
they told me that I looked familiar… I wondered what they were referring to, since I was the only Boss-Monster around here, except…_

 _I judged that fact not important at all and I just walked away from them without a word, knowing well they would follow me.  
I lured them to the Barrier and I explained them what they have to do if they want to go back to the surface :  
kill me and take my SOUL to cross the barrier... Or I kill them and I take theirs...  
They seemed reluctant until they saw my trident when I removed my cape towards my back. _

_The human understood I had the intention to kill them… The look they gave me… it was a mix of confusion,  
fear, and something else I couldn't describe. At first, I threw fireballs at them, and for a short moment, they dodged them,  
but for the last one, they have been struck squarely and they fell to the ground, thrashing in pain._

 _From what I've seen, I guessed their skin was very vulnerable to fire, the burning was intense for them.  
Even if the humans are bloody murderers, nobody should die in agony… _

_Feeling some pity, I walked to them and picked them up. With the little of conscience left, they closed their eyes and lowered their eyes,  
meaning they accepted their fate. I promised them I would make sure to be quick so their death wouldn't be so painful, and a few seconds later…  
I put them out of their misery…_

 _It was silent, they didn't make any noise of agony, they just… passed away in silence… in my arms… with my trident stabbing them…  
When their SOUL emerged from their body, I felt an enormous disgust through my heart, I wasn't able to breath… I was choking…_

 _The SOUL would seem beautiful if you ask someone else, but in my point of view… the sight is unbearable and terrifying.  
I felt my conscience fading away and I fell down. Later, I found myself in Gaster's laboratory, he told me he put the SOUL  
in a container as he took me there, with the corpse of the human… _

_When I felt a little better, I headed towards my house after I announced to my friend I would perform the mummification  
process myself tomorrow in the morning._

 _I just fainted with one human dead in my arms… What would happen to me with the others…?_


	4. Chapter 4

_When I returned to Gaster's laboratory, I didn't waste any minute to begin the mummification process.  
The strips of linen were already here, and the human was stripped off of their clothes, put in the corner of the room.  
I was a little upset at him since I told him I would do everything, I am the one who did this… I am responsible for this…  
Even though I washed myself, I could still see the blood in my hands, in my clothes. I have never felt so disgusted in my life._

 _As I sprayed unguents on the corpse so it prevents decomposition, I remembered my mother's words, before my coronation.  
I would never forget what she told me in her letter, she was saying :_

 _"Asgore, my sweet little prince, before I leave this world, listen to what your mother wants you to learn .  
The crown isn't something to take lightly like your father wanted you to believe, it implies a lot of responsibilities.  
Being a ruler means having bad sides, even with your kind nature, you will be forced to make sacrifices.  
History showed us that no ruler was entirely pure, even when they showed to be good at heart there were situations where  
they were forced to decide things they would never dare to think if they had the choice. _

_I know what you are feeling my son, you are afraid to look like a tyran, you don't want to hurt anyone, no matter they are human or monsters.  
I would have taken you for an idiot if you weren't scared…_

 _Know this : the difference between a tyran and a ruler doing almost the same thing as the first, is the_ ** _meaning_** _._

 _The tyran is doing whatever he wants, regardless of his people's desire, only caring about nothing else but himself and his desires.  
If slaughtering other people, ever his own would give him something he wants, he won't hesitate with a sadistic pleasure._

 _The other one acts for the sake of his people, he is ready to sacrifice his health, his own life so his kingdom survives.  
But never he would sacrifice his loved ones, his family. He have the conviction that sacrifices are necessary to save many,  
he can be reluctant but he knows if he could protect his people by shading blood, even those of innocents, he would do it…  
But he would be haunted by regret and hatred for himself._

 _A King protects his own Asgore. You must_ not _forget that. And don't forget you're not alone, you have your friends, and your future queen : Toriel.  
You don't have to bear your sins by yourself, share your secrets with them and little by little, you would earn forgiveness and be free of this pain._

 _I hope you won't found yourself in this kind of situation, but we have to be careful : scary dreams have been telling me the peace  
we have shared with the humans would break. But don't be wary of them, do your best to ensure coexistence between humans and monsters. _

_If you are still afraid, let me give a metaphor. You love gardening don't you ? Then image your subjects are flowers,  
waiting to be refreshed by your water, in reality it's the same thing : you have to make sure your they are well guarded so they won't wither…_

 _I'm sure you won't give up, you are your father's son after all. I wish you the best… I will watch you from the heavens with him.  
_ _We will always love you no matter what you do…_

 _Be safe…"_

 _When I finished recalling my dear mother's farewell, I finished wrapping the strips all over the human's body.  
At first, I didn't understand what she was saying, I was still a little young, but I understand it now.  
What I was doing was the sacrifices a king must do in order to preserve his people's HOPE._

 _After I put the human inside a coffin, I put a Golden Flower on their chest, hoping they would understand why I have done this,  
and I regret we didn't have any other way._

 _Before I went back to my home, I decided to see Gaster's "creations", his children. After many centuries, they were finally finished.  
I saw them, with their father, there was one who was awake while the other was asleep.  
When I stepped inside the room, the one who was awake acknowledged my presence. he stared at me, I stared in turn and I saw his traits :_

 _He was a skeleton also, but his face was showing a big smile, his eye sockets are filled with a wide white pupils.  
He was wearing blue pyjamas. I admit even though he didn't have any skin -well he's a skeleton so it's obvious…- he was pretty adorable.  
To finish, I took a look at the other skeleton baby : his shape was also like a human skeleton but unlike his brother,  
he didn't have any pupils in his eye sockets. He was wearing orange pyjamas… _

_When Gaster saw me, it was obvious he didn't notice me at first. It was amusing how embarrassed he was when I told him he have wonderful children.  
_ _Maybe his new family would brighten my mood, making me forget for a while the horrors I have seen and the others to come…_


End file.
